All posts by donna burke esgro

Unlaced

Answer To Today’s WordPress Prompt: What are your favorite shoes?

********************************************************************************

My favorite shoes are the untied ones.

At what point in our lives do we notice that our shoes are untied without a well meaning adult pointing it out? Is that the exact moment that we loose our innocence?

To wake up in the morning and tumble headlong into life…this is perhaps what we are seeking. The freedom to be wild in this world. 

Especially now, with the pressure of social media glaring and grinning without respite…selling, judging, enclosing our short and precious lives into the borders of our cell phones…

How precious are these fleeting moments…hair uncombed, shoes untied.

Lost in a library with no mirrors, except those of your soul, swept away in the dream of a story.

Untie your hair, untie your shoes, and don’t take a selfie.

In Support of Writing Your Own Spelling Words

 “If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.” 

Spanish poet Juan Ramon Jimenez 1881-1958

Our institutions of learning are more rife with rules than with inspiring knowledge. The photograph below, (an actual teacher’s note found stuffed into the bottom of a Spiderman backpack along with a collection of old potato chips and small rocks) is an example of independent inventiveness in handling a homework assignment. The world needs more Charlies. Those who ask Why. Those who try it a different way. Perhaps, in the eyes of authority, it is not a better way, but how can you ever know if you are afraid to try? 

Schools have become brightly colored factories of fear rather than places of trust. Fear of bad grades, of tests, of not being smart enough, good enough, cool enough…not to mention the very real fear that many children suffer of being bullied. It is time to allow for all students of all kinds to grow in whatever rambling ways they will inside the halls of learning. Time to encourage the true seeds of knowledge – wonder, curiosity and the freedom to explore. Schools should not exist to clip wings, but to encourage flight. So, go ahead, make up your own words. And may they be wild and free enough to address an unknowable future.

Raising Children Who Care

©donnaesgro

Caring is an act of compassion. It is not simply an act of graciousness or generosity. It comes from deep inside the heart.

All children know the damage that a bully can inflict and they know the feeling of powerlessness when their friends turn and walk away, pretending not to see. How do we teach our children to turn towards, to see, and to act?

Showing your child how to be a caring, involved citizen, doesn’t mean that you have to lead a march or run for office. It is in the small everyday things that children learn. As parents and teachers we are the first role models. How do we treat others day to day? Do we show respect and concern for all beings? When we listen, share, and help, our children see who we are and imagine who they will be. They also see when we ignore, dismiss, or act selfishly.

Books, and the conversations they inspire, are great ways to instill compassion. When a child wants desperately for Dorothy to get back home and the evil witch to dissolve, the seeds of compassion and yearning for justice have been planted. Books can also take you to other places, teaching that there are many cultures and that each one is unique and special. Include books on the history of your own country, and of the world. These kinds of books will open your child’s mind and heart in ways that go far beyond what is literally on the page. 

The future is in our children’s small hands. And, as unknowable as it may be, one thing is certain, that the next generation will need courage and clarity of vision in a world that promises to be confusing and chaotic. They will need to know how to discern truth from lies and how to raise their voices against injustice of all kinds.

Long long ago a Native American chief was sitting by the fire with his grandson. “Tell me about the battles you have fought!” begged the little boy. His grandfather looked deep into the fire. “The most important battle I have fought is between the two wolves that are within us all.  One wolf is greedy, angry, arrogant, a liar and a hypocrite that thinks he is superior to all other wolves. The other wolf is gentle, full of hope, love, empathy, truth and kindness.” The boy became very quiet. He was listening for the two wolves inside him. “Which wolf is stronger?” he asked. “The one you feed,” replied his grandfather.

There is much in this world that needs heedfulness. The fate of our planet depends on it. Helping to solve these seemingly insurmountable problems will need critical thinking, of course, but equally as important, it will need hearts that truly care.

Earth Day

“I think birds turn into owls at night.” Shane, age 4

Children remind us, everyday, to look at the world anew. Do we really see, and feel, and know the wonder as we once did? Can we fight with all of our heart and soul to protect something that we don’t love? Can adults learn to love again? The sun rises on the regal trees, the elephant, the ant, the ocean and it’s joyful tears of salt, on the moon above, that gives silver light to our dreams. Silently, nature watches over us, and most of us ignore her, too busy with immediate “matters of concern”.

The reminder of Earth Day, is that we are not to take for granted our beautiful blue planet. We are here for such a short time, it is our sacred duty to revere, respect , honor and protect her. The planet belongs to our children. We can begin to acknowledge this profound truth by making sure that our children grow in the wisdom that they, in turn, will become caretakers. Get their little toes in the streams, their fingers on the wildflowers. Show them the stars, the clouds and the birds, teach them to listen to the rain, the crickets, and the waves. Read to them about tadpoles, tigers, tornadoes…answer their questions with the dignity they deserve, for curiosity is the soul of science. Do this, talk to them about how precious the earth is and what you are doing to keep it so, and you will begin to fall in love again. And, when you love, you will protect.

Tis The Season

©donnaesgro

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

—Marcel Proust

We are now officially in the height of the holiday season but most of us will not be celebrating as we normally do. We are all nourished by tradition but, children, in particular, build important foundational security on the repetition of cherished rituals.  The holidays mean parties, friends, and extended family. They mean laughter, hugging, sitting shoulder to shoulder at a candle lit table.

How do we make this year, this strange and unprecedented year, a time of peace, joy, and hope for our children? How do we rise to the challenge and the opportunity to learn to express our love in new and different ways?

I believe that the most important idea to convey to school age children is that we are celebrating differently this year precisely because we love our friends and family. We love them so much that we want to be absolutely certain that we do not put them in harms’ way. No matter what is said, children, with their innate emotional intelligence, are adept at seeing beyond words. In the innocent gaze of a child we see our reflection. Children lift us through their need for us to lift them. This is one of the many blessings of being responsible for children.

Children look to us to be their guides through this brambly world. We know, with our years behind us, that there is daylight and starlight above the densest of forests, but children don’t know this. Knowing that time will bring change and that hope is sustaining are realizations that only maturity can bring.

This year we can soothe our children by embracing the intimacy and simplicity that this time demands, by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and, in this allowance, showing trust. Teach the wisdom of knowing that we are in the throes of something beyond our control and must adjust our sails and travel on. Teach them to understand what giving really means and the joy that comes with giving from your heart.

This year is a perfect time to try to forget our own problems for the moment and remember others less fortunate. Does counting blessings sound haplessly cliché? Try it. You’ll be surprised. And have your children try it, too.

It is also a perfect time to reflect on gratitude for what we have, not what we will get. To embrace simple pleasures – walking around the block to look at birds and clouds, planting nasturtiums seeds (they sprout quickly), cooking, or reading side by side.

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand   And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,  

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand   And Eternity in an hour.”

—William Blake

It is a perfect year for children to experience the transience of time in a visceral way. To let them know that they are living history-that one day they will tell their own children that they were part of the great global pandemic of 2020. 

Take this opportunity to discuss hardships that people through the ages have experienced, and how they worked to overcome tremendous difficulties. Discuss the importance of science! Let your children know that scientists and doctors all over the world have worked together to discover a vaccine that will help the Corona Virus disappear. Inherent is a great message of a global connection that this virus brings to the forefront. That we are all in this together (as we are all in this together in every other way, one might add) and that only by working together can we fix it. What a beautiful lesson in the brotherhood of man.

So, this year we may not be able to sit our children on Santa’s lap, fight crowds at the airport, stand in long lines at the mall, get caught in holiday traffic, or wait forever in a crowded restaurant for a table….Hmm, actually, that’s not so bad. Let’s bake some cookies, light a fire, and read about flying reindeer.

Classic Holiday Books:

The Polar Express – Chris Van Allsburg

The Wish Tree – Kyo Maclear

Great Joy – Kate DiCamillo

Snowmen at Christmas – Mark Buehner

The Snowy Day – Ezra Jack Keats

How The Grinch Stole Christmas – Dr. Seuss

Let’s Celebrate-Special Days Around The World – Kate DePalma

The Snowman – Raymond Briggs            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A3THighARU

BE SAFE * WEAR A MASK

©donnaesgro

The Importance of Reading Stories to Your Child During the Pandemic

IMG_2798.JPG

©donnaesgro

*

Reading, thoughtful reading, is more important than ever for children during this time of social distancing and on-line learning.

Deep reading is the giving up of oneself to a story, falling into the character’s lives, sharing their hopes, fears, successes, and failures. Whether the characters are wizards, orphans, bullies, hedgehogs, or heroes, we experience their trials as universal.

Early childhood experts and social scientists agree that reading fiction (from picture books to classic novels) helps build Theory of Mind. TOM is the ability to understand the desires, intents, and beliefs of another. To be able to identify with another is a key cognitive skill that begins developing early in life.

Humans, as the current state of distancing has brought into sharp focus, are social beings. Social beings who, for the sake of themselves and others, are living now in a state of modified distancing for the near distant future. But just because we are physically in a bubble, our minds, hearts, and souls do not have to be.

As the brain reads it becomes very active. It literally sparks! Neurobiologists have discovered that the same regions of the brain are stimulated by reading about something as they are by experiencing it.  While reading, hundreds of neural connections are made that include recognition, understanding, awareness, and acceptance of different points of view. New thoughts and feelings arise, as we read, that nurture our ability to feel empathy.

Reading, because it has the power to shift perspective and encourage one to think outside normal bounds, has the power to change society. In this binary time, when there is a tendency to believe that one is on one side or another, reading opens minds and develops the art of listening.

As we are well aware, most of the healing needed in our society will not be solved by a new vaccine. By reading often to our children and, as they grow, encouraging them to read, we can, in our own homes, be part of a process of building the necessary compassion for all people that is vital to our future.

image

https://Twitter.com/@stoneinthepond

The Palace of Discovery

IMG_6968Days of Discovery – Monterey Bay Aquarium

“The Palace of Knowledge is different than the Palace of Discovery.” Mary Oliver

As students go back to school, and even at very young ages experience the mounting pressure of being judged on their “knowledge” it is important for both parents and teachers to think about what knowledge truly is, and whether or not it can be tested, bell curved, and graded. Is knowledge acquiring a perfect score of 100%? If one’s intellect can be confirmed as superior by A grades, by being able to re-state exactly what has been told to us, students might as well be on a conveyor belt that boxes up perfectly educated children and spits out discards, those who just won’t fit in that box, misfits whose report cards generally fall into the standard deviant, below average range.

I recently had the experience of watching a dedicated team of staff divers at the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Days of Discovery spend hours in the water with several groups of children… Children whose disabilities and special needs ranged in varying degrees of severity, those with cognitive impairments such as Down Syndrome and autism, others with physical restraints, muscular dystrophy, spina bifida, cerebral palsy…
These children, some of whom are paralyzed and others whose own minds keep them bound, were, for a short time released… floating freely in the bounty of the Aquarium’s Tide Pool, discovering the startling cool water, the clamminess of kelp, and the delicate whorl of the tidal snail.

Watching their alert faces and expressions of joy there is no doubt that they were learning, but were we to test them on their experience how would they fare? Can a child’s mind be evaluated on the intricate neural connections that are made by the scent of the sea, the spikiness of a sea star, or the ability to trust a smiling stranger in a scuba mask? Can what the heart discovers be graded? I would not want to be the one who has to decide such a complex and intimate attainment.
Regardless of age and regardless of subject, the more that we can impart the glory and the wonder of the world to students, the more they will learn. Learning is not static. Information continuously flows from one synapse to another creating patterns of recognition and understanding that build knowledge. It cannot be forced or coerced into being. It cannot be accurately labeled as above or below average.

What can educators learn from the children that participated in the Days of Discovery program? That all children have special needs, wants that are so well hidden we often can’t recognize them. Champion the child that doesn’t fit into a standardized mold. Trust that knowledge is being imparted in different ways to each child and, knowing this, to offer a variety of ways to learn.

Brilliance is often overlooked because it is defined by creativity which cannot truly be measured. Be wary of putting to much emphasis on testing, for children will universally shut down if they are shamed by poor grades. I witnessed a child at my local library the week that school began put her head down and cry twice within a half hour over homework, her mother becoming increasingly impatient and irritated with her as she erased her answers again and again. Ask yourself what will be learned from this experience.

There has to be a better way to teach in which students are seen as explorers, encouraged to float freely in this odd and beautiful world – where knowledge is not judged by quarterly report cards, but in the soul, a sacred and individual palace of discovery.

*

young scientistMichael Esgro 1991 – Volunteer D.O.D. Scuba Diver – Lifetime Explorer

 

https://Twitter.com/@stoneinthepond

The Symbiosis of Writer & Illustrator

4f8fd330f31cd7827908566c69a2194b--honey-bear-illustration-children

One of the earliest books ever read to me was Honey Bear by Dixie Wilson (1923), illustrated by Maginel Wright Barney. As a very young child I was mesmerized, both with the rhyming story and the exquisite illustrations-the dusky velvet sky, the deep lavender shadows, Honey Bear in his rumpled rose colored jacket…

*

Once upon a summer in the hills by the river

Was a deep green forest where the wild things grew

There were caves as dark as midnight

There were tangled trees and thickets

And a thousand little places where the sky looked through

*

Later, as an adult, I read Algonquin Publishing’s introduction to their series of books for children:

“The makers of Sunny Books believe that books for children should be not only entertaining, but conform to the highest ideals of beauty in book-making, so that the fortunate child who owns them will develop good taste in reading and in art.”

Fortunate, indeed, I was, to fall so completely and sweetly in star dusted love with literature long before I could read.

When choosing first books for your child, be aware of the quality of both writer and illustrator. There is deeper enchantment in the reading of a story when both artists work in harmony with respect and passion for their material.

Unknown copy

The Mad Hatter: “Have I gone mad?”

Alice: “I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”

Alice in Wonderland has been illustrated by many artists over the years. But, the original black and white John Tenniel drawings reflect best the oddness and dreaminess of Lewis Carroll’s masterpiece. Carroll was a visual artist as well as a writer and knew the importance of the illustrator’s contribution to the integrity of the story. He could have chosen among dozens of children’s book illustrators adept at depicting whimsical fairylands. Instead he chose the acerbic Tenniel, known for his wicked sense of humor and grotesque political cartooning. The choice is intriguing and telling.

My mother often told me the story about how, when she was a little girl, she would sneak down into her grandfather’s library after everyone was asleep and read. Late at night, in the shadows of the dark room, she was both spellbound by Alice’s adventures and terrified by Tenniel’s drawings. A fact that, I’m sure, both gentlemen would have appreciated.

images-4

Piglet: “How do you spell ‘love’?”

Pooh: “You don’t spell it…you feel it.”

In a similar close relationship, A.A.Milne worked with Ernest H. Shepherd to create the charming Winnie the Pooh books. Together they capture the elusive innocence of a young child’s long golden days at play…the simple drawings a metaphor for the zen like simplicity of the characters. Disney’s much commercialized renditions, with their artificial cuteness that have turned Pooh from a humble sage to a bumbling clown, are loud, garish, and awkward when compared to the delicate and sensitive drawings of the original illustrator.

images-3

Charlotte’s Web would still be a classic without E.B.White’s collaborator Garth Williams’ illustrations, but has anyone else ever drawn Wilbur, Charlotte, Fern, or the well meaning Mr. & Mrs. Arable with greater humor, compassion, gentleness, and love? This is a difficult book emotionally as its principal theme is suffering and death. Yet Charlotte’s story shimmers with hope. Williams’ tender black and white illustrations attend to the sacredness with which the author sees life and death.

images copy

But Charlotte,” said Wilbur, “I’m not terrific.”

“That doesn’t make a particle of difference,” replied Charlotte. “Not a particle. People believe almost anything they see in print. Does anybody here know how to spell ‘terrific’?”

In cases in which a wonderful writer is also an accomplished illustrator, such as the works of Maurice Sendak, Rudyard Kipling, or William Blake, the reader is twice blessed with this deeper plunge into the original story creator’s mind. The fantastical fracas of Sendak, the exotica of Kipling, and the metaphysicality of Blake are omnipresent; as much in each brushstroke as in each word.

Unknown-3 copy

“It is such a mysterious place, the land of tears.”

Although Antoine de Saint-Exupery never considered himself a visual artist, who can help but fall in love with the earnest Little Prince? The spareness of Exupery’s watercolors perfectly express the underlying message of his simple yet profoundly wise moral tale. And although I agree with The Little Prince that “What is essential is invisible to the eye”, it is often through, not only our reading and uses of imagination, but through our contemplative gaze that the invisible is revealed to us, clear, in all its squalor and glory.

***

“Let The wild rumpus start!”

Maurice Sendak

Where the Wild Things Are

https://twitter.com/@stoneinthepond

The Way of the Reader

photo-4

©donnaesgro

*

“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.”
Thich Nhat Hanh

 

We live in a distracting world, but we fool ourselves when we think that, by doing more than one thing at a time we are being efficient. To be mindful, fully present in the moments of our lives, sounds deceptively simple, but, especially in this electronic age, is a decided discipline.

Reading, because it slows one down and encourages uses of imagination and focus, can be a gentle bridge to serenity.

As more and more children abandon reading for electronics, neuroimaging research shows that excessive screen time damages the developing brain by creating structural and functional changes in the regions that control emotional processing and cognitive control.

Of particular concern are findings that show damage to areas of the brain that equate physical attributes, such as facial expressions and body language, with emotion. This kind of damage, combined with the rapidly growing trend to spend more time socializing online than face to face, are a cocktail that severely impacts healthy social emotional development.

Conversely, reading develops brain connectivity, particularly in the left temporal cortex, the area of the brain associated with language and in the the sensorimotor region, the region of the brain responsible for something called embodied cognition, the ability to empathize.

Studies show that daily reading also increases connections between the brain’s hemispheres.  These neural pathways aide in the growth of a multitude of complex cognitive functions.

Undoubtedly, reading makes you smart. But does it also make you wise?

When we read to our children we encourage them to be still in body and mind, to listen attentively, and to focus intently. We offer a refuge from the jangle of the modern world and give them our full attention in a joyful and quiet way.

Reading develops Theory of Mind (ToM), the ability to understand that others have needs, desires, thoughts, and feelings that may be different than one’s own. These early stirrings of compassion are the foundation on which tolerance is built.
Reading, by its very nature, takes us outside ourselves. We become emotionally and intellectually sympathetic to characters who often are quite unlike us. This creates, in the child, an attitude of acceptance in which he or she is not threatened by foreign ideas…the seeds of a peaceful world.

Like a spiritual practice, reading offers a time to reflect, to ask questions and to examine one’s own life. It helps to foster what Albert Einstein called “holy curiosity.”
It makes us receptive, open to new concepts that inspire wonder, creativity and clarity…Deep reading allows us a singular meditation even in the midst of chaos and confusion.

In an often dark world, books illuminate.
Statistics show that, after their schooling is completed, almost half of the population of the United States never reads a book again.

So, if you ever find your children reading under the covers with a flashlight, quietly close the door and let them stay up late, their growing minds and hearts filled with vivid imagery and emotion as they follow their own singular bumpy twisty  roads to enlightenment.

 

IMG_0332

https://twitter.com/@stoneinthepond

 

Be Inspired

IMG_2108-3

©donnaesgro

*

“Sometimes you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.” John Green – The Fault in Our Stars

*

The first story I remember being read to me was Honey Bear, by Dixie Wilson. The cadence of my mother’s voice, the enchantment of the illustrations…I couldn’t get enough of this little book…its Belle Epoque watercolors and rhyming verses like the bells of fairies. It took me to a place I never knew existed, a wondrous place. I was inspired, in the true sense of the word, filled with the spirit of literature.

Yet the feelings this story aroused were not simply of joy, but also, like all epiphanies, laced with longing. I traced my fingers over the delicate illustrations…the glowing cottage in the dark woods…the garden blooming with anthropomorphic flowers. I yearned to be there, a part of this loving family in their rapturous world.

The next book that hit me like a thunderbolt was E.B.White’s Charlotte’s Web. I was seven and longed with all my heart to be Fern…raising a baby pig, sitting silent in the barn privy to the conversations of animals…brave and tender Fern, who stood up to her father to save a helpless runt…reckless Fern, swinging out from the high loft of the barn on an old rope…circumspect Fern, who deeply listened before she spoke.

As an awkward ungainly preteen, the intelligence and independence of Nancy Drew seemed out of reach. Yet, I collected, read and re-read the dozens of blue cloth covered editions…her ordinary world so extraordinary to me, the wide tree lined streets, the stately homes with their generous porches, her stalwart convictions, her steadfast fight for justice while speeding around jauntily in her roadster without a blonde hair out of place.

I abandoned Nancy when I discovered Jane. Austen’s heroines were women I could imagine myself becoming…snubbing high society’s mores while strolling through formal English gardens…exposing hypocrisy while dancing in gilded ceilinged ballrooms.

The spiritual journey that books set me on is a never ending one..sometimes an Autobahn, sometimes a labyrinth, but mostly a twisting path that splits into many side roads…from Anna Karenina to Chekov, Turgenev, and my first true love, Dostoevsky…from a short story by Guy de Maupassant to Flaubert, Victor Hugo, and Proust. Today the books on my nightstand spill into stacks on the floor.

“So many books, so little time.” Frank Zappa

Although it is important to allow a child in a library or bookstore free reign to explore, it is also a good idea for the parent to be aware, just as he or she is aware of what foods are nutritious for the body, what books develop a child’s mind in healthy ways. Publishing for children is, after all, a business, one which is heavily researched and marketed to be delivered in bright shiny packaging designed to lure your child. So be aware, there are books that exploit rather than respect the child. The next time you take your child to pick out books, be involved in the process, find stories you loved as a child and point them out. Don’t forget to get a book for yourself, too. Your example, by way of the value you place on reading, is truly inspirational.

Of course, great children’s literature doesn’t have to be fiction, wonderful nonfiction books such as those by Gail Gibbons, Charlotte Zolotow, and Tana Hoban broaden the child’s knowledge of their immediate environment and answer many of the child’s unasked questions about how the world works.

Below is a link with a list of some outstanding children’s books:

http://www.readingrockets.org/article/75-authorsillustrators-everyone-shouldknow

*

Books provide escape and comfort, but they also introduce the eternal questions, Why am I here?, ponder good vs. evil, and inspire us to wonder. My daughter, in her devotion to one of literature’s greatest female role models, Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, would not take off her ruby slippers for weeks, even to go to bed.

Whether you find your inspiration in Candy Fairies or Candide, whether you are reading from a rare first edition or a Kindle, books will always be a journey of egalitarian enlightenment. Follow your heart. The world today needs inspiration.

*

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray

Go throw your TV set away

And in its place you can install

A lovely bookshelf on the wall

Roald Dahl – Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

drawing001

https://twitter.com/@stoneinthepond

***

What books have inspired you or your children? I’d love to hear from you.