Happily Ever After – The Role of Fairy Tales in the Young Child’s Life

IMG_7122©donnaesgro

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Unicorns do not exist

They only think they do

Unicorns do not exist

They’ve better things to do

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Watching the intensity with which children pretend to be Belle, Ariel, Elsa, Batman, or a Jedi Knight, I am struck by the vital importance of this kind of play in the child’s understanding of who he is and who he aspires to be.

When a child creates scenarios based on her belief of how a heroic character would act under certain circumstances, she engages in fundamental questions about the meaning of life. What looks like the simple wearing of a blue sparkling dress is really a ceremonial act with roots in ancient rites of storytelling and mythology.

Because a child’s thinking is animistic, he readily believes that a beast can turn into a prince, that wind can speak, or that creatures such as mermaids exist. Children see the world subjectively. Until they are able to understand the complexities of life in a more objective manner it is not only counter productive, but harmful to the psyche to point out that such things as dragons, unicorns, or fairies are not real. Fairy tales speak directly to the child’s subconscious which intuits the hidden truths inherent in the stories. Explaining that these tales are imaginary, as some well meaning adults are wont to do, only makes the child distrustful of his own inner voice that so vibrantly tells him that these lovely creatures are real. It robs the child of the solace of believing that with a valiant heart, even the very small and weak can overcome the big and powerful. Fairy tales provide a secure foundation that will only later be understood as metaphor. Dorothy melting the Witch, and Jack outwitting the Giant become over time solid beliefs that evil can be vanquished by good.

The hero in any fairy tale begins as an innocent, thrust into a position in which she must face grave dangers. With courage and honorable deeds, she wins out over all obstacles and lives happily ever after.

Fairy tales acknowledge what the child instinctively knows to be true. Bad thing exist, and sometimes he will make bad choices himself, be unkind, greedy, jealous, lazy, or go down the wrong path – the dark one, full of monsters. Fairy tales are profoundly moral stories that emphasize the power of honor, courage, humility, generosity and love. That reassure the child that mistakes and missteps will ultimately be of no consequence and happiness will prevail if the heart is pure.

A child feels empathy for the archetypal character who is at the mercy of unkind fortune, who is the youngest, the one often thought of as a simpleton, or with the least strength, because this is often how he perceives himself. The magic of the fairy tale is not in the dragons and castles, but in the idea that an ordinary boy or girl can be transformed into a hero.

In the classic fairytale being abandoned, lost, orphaned, or forced by fate to leave one’s home represent the inevitability of having to grow up. The symbolism of life’s journey resonates with the child’s realization of what her future will contain. The hero must preform a series of tasks or tests to prove herself – often with the help of seemingly ordinary creatures who bestow invincible totems as rewards for such simple gestures as kindness or politeness. The boy or girl acts solely out of sympathy and in turn is given an item that is invaluable in performing an otherwise impossible mission. This motif tells the child what she already perceives to be true – that growing up will not be easy, will not happen all at once, is full of wonder and mystery, and requires great fortitude.

Fairytales may seem outdated, irrelevant, or even too scary to a modern day parent. But it is important not to apply adult sensitivities to these stories which acknowledge, and pacify natural fears that the young child grapples with daily. If a fairytale truly alarms you, then choose another, there are hundreds of them from all over the world. But trust that these classic plots, which are repeated throughout all cultures, have very good reasons to have lasted for thousands of years.

Fairytales can be disturbing, but never in any one of them have I been so horrified as I was at this recent attempt of the NRA to use these stories to indoctrinate our youngest…

http://mobile.nytimes.com/images/100000004293807/2016/03/26/us/the-nra-reimagines-classic-fairy-tales-with-guns.html

Fairytales celebrate the true, the honest, the kind, the trustworthy, and the virtuous . They offer hope and redemption. This twisted idea from the NRA of what strength and courage is corrupts the very meaning and purpose of the fairytale.

Although Disney has become the modern cantadora of fairytales, don’t leave this rite of passage entirely to a giant corporation whose singular interpretation is marketed and templated. Read to your children, let their imaginations soar, and you will be holding hands across generation after generation of parents and grandparents who have participated together in this mystically beautiful and ancient tradition.

Believing in the possibility of happy ever after achieved by goodness of heart and nobility of spirit at once brings a sense of order, power over wickedness and inspiration on how to live to the child.

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I wanted Yoda to be the traditional kind of character you find in fairy tales and mythology. One of the basic motifs in fairy tales is that you find the poor and unfortunate along the side of the road, and when they beg for help, if you give it to them, you end up succeeding. If you don’t give it to them, you end up being turned into a frog or something. It’s something that’s been around for thousands of years, a concept that’s been around for thousands of years. -George Lucas

 

 

 

 

 

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